"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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