Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
