BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
