well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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