I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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