why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
