one might say we're banned from that church
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
