I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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