Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
