we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
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How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
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We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.