Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:

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  (305): Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D: http://tfl.nu/t26u
  Replies (12) Good night (2559) Bad night (915)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  When you wake up, I have rum and am in town

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  (519): When you wake up, I have rum and am in town http://tfl.nu/jlrs
  Replies (3) Good night (4723) Bad night (635)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip

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  (702): Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip http://tfl.nu/lsox
  Replies (10) Good night (3269) Bad night (925)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops

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  (907): the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops http://tfl.nu/07bg
  Replies (45) Good night (10722) Bad night (1154)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.

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  (519): We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet. http://tfl.nu/qx6i
  Replies (4) Good night (1142) Bad night (2367)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...

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  (716): I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom... http://tfl.nu/0ft1
  Replies (9) Good night (1123) Bad night (2671)
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  (760): View more from California

  She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.

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  (760): She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks. http://tfl.nu/z0r2
  Replies (22) Good night (834) Bad night (3354)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.

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  (416): BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT. http://tfl.nu/cryj
  Replies (5) Good night (861) Bad night (453)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.

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  (208): I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you. http://tfl.nu/oysr
  Replies (1) Good night (1075) Bad night (770)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...

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  (256): Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling... http://tfl.nu/w83s
  Replies (0) Good night (914) Bad night (622)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...

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  (215): Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or... http://tfl.nu/y16p
  Replies (8) Good night (875) Bad night (1028)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List

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  (405): Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List http://tfl.nu/9eia
  Replies (1) Good night (606) Bad night (243)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.

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  (517): Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into. http://tfl.nu/xhgf
  Replies (3) Good night (291) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.

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  (847): I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now (847): I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous. http://tfl.nu/limw
  Replies (3) Good night (364) Bad night (653)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere

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  (201): You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere http://tfl.nu/t03j
  Replies (4) Good night (321) Bad night (192)

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