pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I touched a dick in church today
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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