I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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