Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You just made me feel so damn special
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
