question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
