Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
