I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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