Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She announced her abortion via fbk
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
