It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I have tasted many bathrooms
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
