i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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