The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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