We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
