Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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