he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
