If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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