whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
