hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
