i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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