Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
