Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Everyone says I win the strip club
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
