One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
There's a naked man in my car right now.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
