life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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