the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
