My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
