i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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