Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
