I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Randomize
