Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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