I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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