just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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