are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
