My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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