Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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