ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize