Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
