you win again, gameday.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
