help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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