He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
organizing the empties. That sober.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
