i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
