This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
