I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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