so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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