Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
