hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
