I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
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