4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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