Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
