im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
why do cheetos always look like penises
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
