it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Life is so much better after having sex.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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