I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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