I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Congratulations! We have a period
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
