guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
