lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
