erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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