just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Randomize
