"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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